There comes a time in the revision process where you fall out of love with your work. I was at that point for The Heart’s Bidding at about rewrite number fifteen. I was sick of rereading my work and never wanted to do it again.
Enter Xe Sands.
You bet I was ecstatic she had agreed to read the novel (she was my dream “get” for narration). Why? Well, let me share a little story with you.
Right at the beginning of the Covid lockdowns, I had to close my antique shop, putting it into storage for the foreseeable future. Maybe forever. It was an emotional decision, but one I don’t regret. The health of my mother and my employees is sacrosanct, after all. Nonetheless, it was as painful as any I had ever made. It took two weeks’ worth of seemingly endless days, moving and boxing, disassembling the business life I had built.
I needed something to keep my mind occupied while my body worked. I chose a long audiobook—The Murmur of Bees by Sofía Segovia—and listened to Xe Sands narrate the book softly into my ears as I slung furniture into the back of the truck. It was the only thing that kept me sane.
In the end, Xe’s perfect voice became tied to the emotions of shutting down my store. It was an alchemical mixture of feelings so powerful I often found myself wiping my eyes as I would stand still in the hallway, a dresser balanced precariously on the edge of my two-wheel dolly. Her voice will forever be tied to one of the saddest weeks of my life and will only be one step behind my own mother’s for how it heals my heart to hear it.
Even as my dream came true with Xe agreeing to narrate The Heart’s Bidding, I still held a grudge against the book itself. That was, until I heard her read it. What happened next was nine hours of joy that I cannot give justice to in a simple blog post. Xe turned my words into something more than they had ever been. The characters came to life. I felt as if I was sitting across from them at the dinner table, eavesdropping on their lives. She made me laugh at moments I had forgotten were funny. She made me weep as the story reached its climax. And most importantly, she showed me that all the work writing it had been worth it.
So, thank you from the bid-calling bottom of my heart, Xe Sands, master of microphone, speaker of my heart’s secrets. You did the impossible. You made me fall in love with my words all over again.